Speech of Alt Prime Minister Vidyut

Good evening mitron. I have been asked many questions about what I will do regarding the #FarmersProtest in the country. I am here before you, to answer them. #AltSarkar

Before I get into the details of today’s announcements, I want to express my sincere apologies to the farmers for the hardships and indignity they have had to face in their struggle to safeguard their livelihood. #AltSarkar

It is a matter of shame for any democracy when its citizens are out on the streets for months asking for something as basic as proper process in making laws that apply to them. India begs for their forgiveness. #AltSarkar

I also apologize to journalists, activists, organizations and other entities that have been targeted for their invaluable service to the country in holding the state to account. #AltSarkar

At the same time, I have been asked by countless patriotic citizens to understand both sides of the story. Toward this, and in keeping with our scientific attitude, #AltSarkar is conducting an experiment in alternative democracy.

We will be following the methods of the farm laws to address another grave problem in the country that has repeatedly been flagged as a danger to the country itself – paid news. #AltSarkar

This will also help address the concerns of paid tweets favoring #FarmersProtest brought up by the patriotic citizens in consultations conducted on Twitter. #AltSarkar

To this end, #AltSarkar has passed an experimental #AltOrdinance that bans paid news on all public media including television, news publications and the internet, including social media, news sites and blogs.

From midnight tonight, content published with conflicts of interest like exchange of money, affiliations, membership, ownership or favors will be illegal and subject to fines, prison terms or both. #AltSarkar

Paid news has been identified as a problem for a long time, but inputs from journalists and celebrities who do endorsements were complicated. Thankfully, the farm laws have shown us the way. #AltSarkar

The ordinance is based on extensive research, and formulated by top neutrality experts and disallows anyone earning from any entity from commenting favorably on that entity publicly. No journalists have consulted in framing it. #AltSarkar

Conflict of interest will include monetary as well as social interest, as will ownership/membership/employment/advertising of companies or organizations, including political organizations. #AltSarkar

As an example: Anyone with humblebrag selfies taken with me must not praise me, journalists must not report favorably on investors or advertizers their employer (including Google Ads, etc). #AltSarkar

AltSarkar will access financial information, communications and public content of anyone posting anything publicly in order to prevent paid news activity. Honest people have nothing to fear.

Anyone coming out in the streets to protest will be dealt with by independent law enforcement, tax, intelligence and other such officials. This, as well as the ordinance is classified as our internal matter. #AltSarkar

If you have a problem with this ordinance or its being passed into law, you may contact @PIB_AltSarkar or email pib@fekle.in with your grievances. We will address them all in eighteen months. #AltSarkar

Please note that this is a one-off experiment to test whether reality-style is better than #AltSarkar and on every other aspect, we will continue as always, with high ideals and excellence.

This ordinance will be passed into law (as a brief afternote) in the next Parliamentary session, which we are dedicating to discussing the agricultural crisis in the country. #AltSarkar

I thank you for your attention. Bol ki lab truly azad hai tere now. Jai Hind! #AltSarkar

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