Speech of Alt Sarkar’s Prime Minister

Thank you Alt-President. I promise to do my best in this role. This is a day of contrasts. A phenomenal victory, a sobering reality. The messages of support while the polling was in progress spoke of a desperation for a government that cares. The results agreed. It began as a joke, but wasn’t really funny. When urged to make a Cabinet, I saw opportunity to perhaps make a comment and gain some relief from the relentless grim. To my astonishment, within a few days, it is wildfire and here we are today, swearing in a fictional government to widespread applause. We chose against big ceremony with large swathes of the country suffering floods, another part in what amounts to prison, and economy – RBI Governor urgently apprised me to say “Daboo ledu” (paisa nahi hai – there is no money) before I was sworn in! This is not a time the country is celebrating. But we are determined that we will make it happen. And then we celebrate together. Till then, with our best ideas, we’ll bring a touch of humor that puts a smile on your face when facing reality. We hope to make a government that makes your life easier and more free. You can expect us to be attentive to problems you face. It is now time to move past the drama of an unexpected Prime Minister and get into the serious business of seeing what talented minds suggest for the improvement of our country. The Alt Sarkar is unorthodox, so the cabinet announcements are also unorthodox. Rather than run through a list in a ritualistic manner, I’d like you to hear plans from each minister. This may mean that the announcements may happen over a few days and that’s all right. There will be more detailed plans, announcements, consultations, suggestions and more as time goes by. Thank you for your trust and walking along on this creative, quirky journey. We promise to make you wish we were true.

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