Uttar Pradesh to crack persistent problem of rapes

India is plagued with rapes in states that are not governed well. Bharat is relatively safer as are BJP governed states like Madhya Pradesh and Rajasthan. Uttar Pradesh is one such state where rapes happen all the time. Hanging girls from trees is at risk of becoming a state tournament with trophies for best hanged girls unless something is done.

But so far, there appeared to be no answer to what could be done. However, the internet has found a solution to this problem. The answer lies in the humble toilet. Be careful you don’t flush it carelessly.

rural toilet

A toilet a day keeps the rapist away is the new mantra. Photo: Cgoodwin

Fek Le! senior correspondent met a senior official of the government of Uttar Pradesh, prepared with an answer to odd questions about her safety, but found that she did not need them. He with her most respectfully, outlining the plans for the state.

He says the government is completely convinced by the complaints of the protesters and has agreed to build toilets as penance for being okay with rape as well as a demonstration of commitment toward ending it.

“They really wanted something to show people to end the criticism, and had even thought of toilets,” he said, grinning sheepishly. “But media would attack them if they suggested it, since they attack anything said by ministers after a rape. So I am sure they are quite happy to agree to this demand.”

“But how will toilets end rape?” our correspondent wondered.

“They will. Can’t you see the compromise the boys will have to make? Instead of girls coming to them in the dark where they sit, they will have to go and bring them! They will lose interest in sex and go back to the college they quit!”

“And if it fails?”

“So what if it fails? We said modest clothes will end rape. It failed. We said not going out at night will end rape. It failed. We said not going out alone will end rape. It failed. This time let the journalists find out how difficult it is to give ideas to end rape without ruining the lives of boys having innocent fun! The seniors in our party are all agreed unanimously that building toilets is a constructive and worth trying if it can save innocent boys having getting into mischief from unreasonable anger. The boys are willing to make the sacrifice and suffer greater effort. Let us see.”

“WHAT?”

“Are madamji, aap kyun naraz hote hain? Aapko to kisine rape nahi kiya na, aap tension na le.”

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About Vidyut

Editor of the most comprehensive source of disinformation on the internet. Feking it for fun and profit.
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