A recent secret meeting of the Union of BJP Photoshop Laghu Udyog karmacharis and esewaks came to the conclusion that they have the capabilities to make Narendra Modi the Prime Minister regardless of election results.
“Internal assessment of our deployment capabilities have repeatedly shown that regardless of reality, we are able to convince people to believe that what we say is truth. It is time to take the next step.”
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, the Photoshop worker said that they have deployed a new project for the coronation of Namo as PM, which will be released on the day of election results.
“No matter who wins the elections, we will start spreading news of Modi’s victory and coronation as India’s Monarch. This new software is amazing. No one will be able to tell the difference.” But what about the real PM, if Modi doesn’t win? “We can make it totally look like the sickulars are angry that Modi got elected, so they are floating around suspicions.”
“Absolutely. Look at this. We did a test run:”
“Within an hour of issuing this press release, Obama’s office had called Narendra Modi to clarify that he did not mean any disrespect by pointing his foot at Modi. They even said that the procedures to grant Modi’s visa are almost complete.” News media was covering it instantly.
“We are big, dude. See this tweet.”
See the number after the name. He is our 1976th Jayashar. This is a simple name. We have even more Rahuls and Sonias. Then we have true supporters of BJP. We got several of each on Twitter.
Now imagine what happens when the day after the elections, we spam all journalists telling them to comment now that we have won. We show them the photo.
“We just totally spam them. They will think Modi has won and report it.”
Our Fek Le reporter was stupefied. “Won’t they come to know? I know. I could leak this to the media!”
The Photoshop worker was confident. “No one is going to believe a sickular like you.”
“But it will eventually get exposed!” our reporter still had faith in truth.
“Who cares what happens after we get paid?”