President regrets not being able to award bravery award to Binny

Hailing Vinod Kumar Binny’s recent miraculous escape from the torture chambers of the Anarchist Aadmi Party as the first to break through the tyranny of woolen mufflers and netas who take up the aam aadmi’s space on public transport, leading to overcrowding, [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”@fek_le” suffix=””]President Pranab Mukherjee said that Vinod Kumar Binny was this week’s hope for an emerging new India[/inlinetweet].

“It is rare for a president’s speech to be taken so seriously, so soon,” a gratified Pranab Mukherjee was overheard saying to a person in the shadows, rumored to be India’s next Prime Minister to be unveiled at an appropriate time. “If populist anarchy ends, it will be much better for all three people concerned. Vinod Kumar Binny has shown the way by being the first to demand freedom from the British rule, and for this we must honor him.”

“However, this action has come too late for this year’s bravery awards, and another suitable honor will have to be found.” Unofficial sources share that the President is considering a retrogressive award to be conferred on him to avoid any anarchist connotations of inventing a new award.

“Since this is a transparent and accountable country, we will not be able to justify how we were able to give an award before the action. Vinod Kumar Binny should have been more punctual,” said the President, in mild disapproval over the delay.

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81 Comments

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